I am posting an introduction to each of the six steps that will be explored at a deeper level in the workshop: Dismantle Your Inner Crtiic – 6 Steps to Live Your Brilliance. Take a look at the events page to sign up for an upcoming workshop.


I am posting an introduction to each of the six steps that will be explored at a deeper level in the workshop: Dismantle Your Inner Crtiic – 6 Steps to Live Your Brilliance. Take a look at the events page to sign up for an upcoming workshop.


I am posting an introduction to each of the six steps that will be explored at a deeper level in the workshop: Dismantle Your Inner Crtiic – 6 Steps to Live Your Brilliance. Take a look at the events page to sign up for an upcoming workshop.


This is the first step to Dismantle Your Inner Critic

I am posting an introduction to each of the six steps that will be explored at a deeper level in the workshop: Dismantle Your Inner Crtiic – 6 Steps to Live Your Brilliance. Take a look at the events page to sign up for an upcoming workshop.

 


Small Act, Big Love




Here is my Valentine message to you this week.


Ms. Frizzle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I was a new parent, I gave myself permission to see the world in a fresh way. When our 3-year-old spilled the box of 100 Band-Aids, I took ridiculous delight in counting the scattered Band-Aids and sorting them into piles by shape and size.

Some of us are tenacious life-long learners. Driven by fearless curiosity, we choose to see the familiar in new ways. We hunger to uncover and discover anything and everything. We ask a zillion questions. Not everyone feels comfortable asking questions. Some folks don’t want others to know that they don’t know something.

My clients often express the shame of not knowing. They may share an embarrassing work experience, or admit they did not know mothering would be so hard. Many feel they are navigating life without a road map or a working GPS.

I tell them about the PBS show The Magic School Bus and Ms. Frizzle’s repeated mantra: In order to learn you need to “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy.” The Magic School Bus was an educational animation show for primary school kids. Ms. Frizzle was a wild-haired science teacher with unforgettable adventurous experiments. She would load the kids on her Magic Bus for a field trip. The bus would shape shift, getting bigger or smaller and start flying. In one episode, in order to teach the kids about the respiratory system, the bus shrank and went up someone’s nose and down into their bronchial tubes. The kids would roll their eyes at her crazy teaching style.

Ms. Frizzle gives us permission to not need to know everything and the wisdom to understand that the learning process isn’t always neat and tidy.

When we were kids, we didn’t expect ourselves to know everything. Even before our primary school years, learning happened organically and in conjunction with playing in our sand boxes, building forts, climbing trees, or at the dinner table. When we think of a nine-year-old learning to play a violin, we wouldn’t expect symphony quality sounds; we expect and tolerate the jarring squeaks and inconsistency of the young musician.

Our egos don’t like the idea of getting caught not knowing something−or worse, looking stupid. Deep down there might be a stifled voice saying, “I can’t do this.” We don’t even know that voice is influencing us. That small hidden voice instigates our self-sabotage. We quit before we try.

If you find yourself in that quagmire, the antidote is movement. Move your body, move your mind. Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy. I say do it with fearless curiosity. It breaks you open to a fresh perspective.

In a future blog, I will share more ways to become a life-long learner and offer tools to thrive. If you would like to get your hands on life naviagtion tools sooner, set a free 20-minute consultation or an individual healing session. 479-409-4912.


Spread the Love

6in Japan Red with Cabbage

I believe there is a wellspring of love available for us all. Love is not finite, though somehow it can feel scarce when it comes to loving ourselves. How much does the critic in our head speak up louder and faster than the voice of self-acceptance and self-love.…I can’t go out looking like this…I can’t afford this…I never know what to say…Oh my God, why do I bother … versus …I am giving myself some extra time today to do this task…I am not going to do everything on my list, and I am ok with that….I am picking up some flowers for myself…I am going to pick up the phone and call my friend across the country) .

So this weekend of February 14th, I encourage us to spread the love first to ourselves. I believe self-acceptance and self-connection are at the heart of healthy relationships. When we know how to love ourselves with self-care, self-respect, kindness, and consideration, we bring that into our relationships with others.

Our inner critic is quick to jump in and say that self-love is arrogant or selfish. I have a good rule of distinction for myself between being selfish and self-love. Being selfish is tending to yourself at the expense of others. Self-love is tending to yourself through mindful self-care that will positively ripple out to others. Your nourished heart and body will be reflected in your words and in your actions.

When we don’t get enough sleep or put the right foods in our body, or take care of our need for restoration and recreation, we become cranky. That word brings back a memory from my college years of babysitting. I must have shared with the kids that they are less irritable when they have had their naps. One day the four-year old, Danielle, grabs my hand and walks me to her bedroom. On the way to her room, much to my surprise, she says, “You need a nap. You can use my bed. You are really cranky!” She got my attention. I was being impatient and short. I hadn’t slept enough the night before. And she called me on it.

We can be mindful on this culturally charged Valentines weekend. Check your expectations. See if you can drop some. Soften up a bit. Let life flow versus setting yourself up for what marketing tells you romance looks like, or what not having any romance says about you. If you are single, or if you are not single, love yourself.

You know what makes you smile: a favorite cup of tea in your preferred cup, or glass of wine with that book you haven’t gotten to yet, or the same movie that you love no matter how many times you have seen it, or go for the long walk, or a pedicure after your long walk. Wherever you are, add aromatic scents, change up the lighting, turn on the music that gets you up and moving, or gets you relaxed and soothed. Do something joyful for your soul this week. Do the self-care. Spread the love. Watch the ripple effects.